I'll Have Her Home At A Respectable Hour

So I watched a show on the Discovery Channel yesterday that I really just do not get. It's called It Takes A Thief. Apparently these guys used to be thieves and now they have their own TV show where people will hire them to come case their house, break into it, then tell them how to make it safer. As far as I could tell the family requesting this service has never been robbed...but they fear that happening. So they hire someone to do it. Then they freak out because "oh my gawd I've been robbed!" then they act all sissified about it and go overboard with the security system. But...you weren't robbed. You don't know that you'll ever be robbed. You were fake robbed by someone you hired to rob you to show you how easy it would be to do so. Basically it just showed me how to rob someone's house...they should have called it Thievery 101. The entire thing just left me very annoyed. Very...

I hate election season. I want to know the issues. I want to know who the candidates are so I can do my own research and find out on my own what they've done and what they haven't done and what they believe and keep in mind that most of that is still bullshit. But then...then the ads start and then I get turned off of the entire process. I saw one such ad last night that cracked my ass up. A Democrat ran an ad pointing out that his Republican opponent agrees with George Bush 96% of the time. That was the entire focus of this ad. Don't vote for this guy...he agrees with Bush almost all the time! That's his campaign focus? That is what's supposed to entice me to vote? Just point out that this dude agrees with someone that I do not agree with? Does that really make you the better candidate? How often do you agree with Bush? I didn't see that stat listed anywhere. Jeesh...this shit is really getting out of hand.

It's Friday and I'm wearing a skirt and pantyhose. Needless to say I'm not a happy camper. Not one bit. I hate wearing pantyhose. I hate the process of putting them on. It's not sexy. You cannot be sexy while putting on pantyhose. And the more I say that word, pantyhose, the worse it gets. Pantyhose. Pantyhose. Up your nose with a pantyhose. Great...

So for some serious business, what can I be for Halloween? I'm attending a party tomorrow that now appears to be a costume party and I have no costume. I want a costume but I want it to be cheap and easy. Hey! I may have a few ideas now....

That I'll Never Ever Choose To Be

Another great start to what will hopefully turn out to be a fine day. As I was leaving my home I realized that my purse felt light. Looked empty. iPod? Check. Keys? Check. Tylenol? Check. Sunglasses? Check. Wallet? Check. Lip gloss that is the same shade as my lips? Check. OK, everything's there. Let's head out the door.

Then I'm driving. Do you ever get the feeling that everyone around you is honking at you? Like maybe you've done something wrong or your muffler is dangling or you've hit a small child and they are stuck to your front bumper and you just don't realize it yet so everyone is honking to let you know that you need to pull over. I had one of those drives in to work. I hit all the green lights but everytime I was driving through the intersections I heard honks. Probably not for me...but it set me to wonder.

I robbedd my piggy bank this morning so I could stop and get some breakfast. I didn't have any cash on me and I knew I didn't have time to stop for junk food and money so my piggy bank was thieved. That set me to think about the fact that I do not have a secret stash of money to call my very own. My Mom does. My sister does. Even my mother-in-law does. But not me. Should I? Is this standard procedure in a marriage? Do all women have a secret stash of cash set aside? And if so, why? What's it for? I have a piggy bank...it has a bunch of change minus the $7 I took out of it. Sad little piggy...

Which brings me back to my purse. The lighter and seemingly empty purse that I took inventory of before I left home and felt like everything was there. All those checks that I did in my head failed to recognize that I'm missing my checkbook. Which means I do not have my driver's license. My debit card. My credit card. My insurance card. My PetSmart rewards card. What if I needed to get dog food? What if I jam my pen deep into my eye in a stress induced whackout and need emergency care? Or what if I get pulled over? What if I need to write a check? Anything can happen!!!

For the record I'm not bright. People shouldn't say that I am for I will most certainly go out of my way to prove just that...

If I Had My Time Again

Fine. I talk like a little southerny hick. I'm fine with that. Fine, fine, fine. However, there are some words that really accentuate this fact. Like the word picture. Which is sad since I like to take pictures. I put pictures in scrapbooks. I organize my pictures. I talk about pictures. And everytime I say it it comes out as pitchers. I know to say it as pic-tures. PICtures. Yes I do. But then I open up my southerny speaking face and pitchers comes out.

"Hey ya'll...let me take your pitcher."
"Oh I hate pitchers of myself."
"Where's that pitcher at that I took of that turtle?" (yup...where's it at...I say that! ACK!)

I could go on but you get the point. I need to sit around and practice saying the word. PICture. PICture. PICture. Picture. Picture. Picture. I can do this.

Monday night I got an email from Threadless letting me know that they were having a $10 sale on all of their T-shirts. And I promptly went and looked and fell in love with this one and this one. But for some reason I didn't order them right away. I know they have limited numbers. I knew that for ten bucks they'd be flying outta there. So why? Why did I wait? Because I'm a stoopid head? Because I had better things to do? Who knows. Alls I know is that I didn't get either of those T-shirts and I was a sad and blue little girl yesterday when I went to place my order and found them all sold out in my sizes.

Tonight on SciFi at 9pm GhostHunters will be all about West Virginia spookiness. Woo! Part of the ad I saw mentioned Mothman. I am sooooo gonna watch this! Long live Mothman!

In the spirit of full disclosure I'll let you know that I had mac and cheese with my dinner last night. I am truly out of control. I cannot be stopped. It's a full on addiction. I'm even having some for lunch. No wonder my pants are all too tight...

So now political opponents are calling each other ugly? What's next - Yo mama jokes? Pushing each other down on the playground and running away? This is all very ridiculous.

This is today's picture for the 365 Days Group. This is one of my special skills. I can fold my tongue in half. Not sure that it's really all that useful for anything but I can do it. I am very talented. I should take this on the road. Be on David Letterman. Meet Prince. Show Gene Simmons that it doesn't matter how long it is....it's what you can do with it. And I can do this. Oh yeah...

We Can Build A Tree

I ate macaroni and cheese everyday last week. Sunday through Saturday. Mac and cheese. Sometimes more than once a day. I couldn't be stopped. I was on a mac and cheese binge! I was caught in a mac and cheese stronghold. Or? Or I just couldn't be bothered to actually make anything else and I had easy access to mac and cheese. You'll never know the truth!

Once again I have no iPod with me. I didn't bring snacks. I am without lunch. I'm reusing yesterday's water bottle. What the fuck is going on with my head? Has the thinking part been clogged with cheese? Did some of last week's fog seep into my brain through my ear? I just shook my head around and I didn't feel any fog in there. (Really...I did. I closed my eyes, concentrated, and shook my head...and I just did it again! Wow...what is wrong with me?) My head is not in the game. My head is not even aware of the game. What game are we talking about? I've already forgotten...

I had the house all to myself yesterday evening. So I used my time wisely. I learned how to shoot black and white pictures with my camera. I toyed around with the ISO settings. I took pictures of my dogs. My feet. Me. My wine cooler bottle. Me some more. Then I watched some shows I had waiting for me on the DVR. And I tried to let that trapped cry loose. Not gonna happen. It's mostly gone I think. My headaches are gone anyway. Maybe the leaked cry dissolved into my brain and has flooded it! And that's what's wrong with my head. Dammit...

I did hear some sad news yesterday. My sister and her husband are putting their house up for sale. Which is fine and good. They do need to do what's best for them. But I just know I'm not gonna see her as often after she moves. And as much as I may complain and fuss and pout over my family, I love them. I love to see them. And the thought that I may not get to see her as much is making me sad. And the selfish part of me knows that I'm going to be left out of good fun times, since she'll live closer to our family. They'll get together. They'll have fun. They'll have stories that I'll not be a part of. I shouldn't care. I grew up. I'm independent. I have my own stories. Right?

That's it. I have no good way to end this. Fade out....

I've Got My Own Mind

So this past Friday night I actually had plans. Well, you know...my once a month scrapbooking get together, but dammit they were plans! Anyway, for some reason it was even more fun than usual. I stayed out until 11:30! I'm a party animal ya'll. I even stayed awake until after midnight. Woo...wild! I even took drugs! Well, it was just a Tylenol PM but hey...it's something. I am a wild, wild girl.

OK, no I'm not. I realized over the weekend that I'm uptight. I don't wanna be uptight. But I am. I want to be one of those people that will take a picture of herself in public without feeling like an idiot. I want to be one of those people that will get up and dance with everyone else. I want to just do whatever it is I want to do instead of starting to do it and then realizing that people may see me. Oh no! Someone will see me dance. Someone may see me taking my picture in the sugar department of the grocery store. Oh no! I'll be....seen! But then what? They'll see me and what? What am I afraid of - they'll point and laugh? Yell out "Hey everyone! Come look at this dork!!!" Stone me? What? So what if they point and laugh? I don't know...but that is one of my fears. People laughing AT me. So instead I'll just keep being uptight. Dammit...

While I was hanging out in Target on Saturday waiting for my prescriptions to be filled I found myself in the styling products department. Sure I don't use styling products but some of the packaging is pretty and it caught my eye. I found myself standing in front of the mousse and I'm seeing all these different formulas for people who want more body or more defined curls or frizzy control or the attention of a potential lovah and I got to wondering what makes them different. So I read the ingredient listing on the body one and the curl one. No big surprise here, they have the same exact ingredients. So how do those same ingredients know whether you want body or more defined curls or more lift or more frizz control or the attention of a potential lovah? And yes, I did spend about 10 minutes pondering these questions.

Something I saw on Saturday really brought home the fact that yes I am living in the suburbs. One of my neighbors on his hands and knees with a hand held brush type thing brushing the grass clippings in his driveway into a little pile. On purpose. This could only happen in the 'burbs.

After my Target ponderings and suburb behavior watching I spent some time with my scrapbooks. I reorganized pictures. I completed pages. Good times were had. I can spend hours organizing pictures that I'm not even going to use. Why not just throw them in a box and put a lid on it? Because then I can't find them later if need to, duh. Plus once I'm dead and gone I want whoever is left behind to deal with my grand estate to be able to easily decipher those pictures. Yes, I do think about that. I don't even have a kid to worry about at the moment but I don't want whatever chump they find to take care of this stuff to not know what's going on with these pictures. Wow...nerdy AND weird. I'm a hot chick!

All this super hot nerdy organizing action on Saturday required that I drink a wine cooler and stay up late again. I am a good time...you guys have no idea.

Yesterday we left our Fortress of Nerditude to go out into the world and see a current film. But guess what? I took some of the Nerditude with me. Oh yes I did, for we saw The Prestige. A movie about magic! With Hugh Jackman! and Christian Bale! as magicians! Hot magicians. With cool illusions. And they are rivals! Rival magicians! HOT rival magicians. Ooooooh...this is better than porn... Then to just put that nice little cherry on the top they bring in Scarlett Johansson. My eyes! They have seen the hotness! *ahem* Sorry....where was I? Oh yeah...the movie. I can't say that I loved it but I really did like it a lot. I had it all figured out, though. That disappoints me somewhat. I like the feeling of "Oh!" that you get when a big reveal is....um...revealed. Yeah...I like that. But it was OK...I like to be right, too. So with all the rival magic going on and all the Hugh and Christian action going on and then Scarlett walks in with her boobs...it was all very nice and good and enjoyable.

I forgot my iPod at home today. I'm not sure if I unplugged my curling brush. I'm pretty sure I left the Oreos out. I was late to work. I forgot to take some pills for my cramps. This is shaping up to be an awesome day...

Find My Asshole Brother

Yesterday outside smelled like cotton candy. I don't know why either. As I was walking to my car I realized that and it made me happy to be outside. Happy to realize that what I was smelling was the scent of cotton candy. It's such a pleasant scent. Yum...cotton candy scented outside!

I've been having to buy size 12 pants. But they are really too big. But size 10 is a bit too tight. So I chose to go with the bigger instead of looking like a little sausage packed into my too tight pants. But one pair of pants is made with a little bit of the stretchy stuff in them. When I put them on in the morning they look very nice, maybe a bit loose around my hip area but overall very nice. Then I drive to work. Then I sit at my desk. For hours. Then I get up to walk around and I see my reflection in a mirror and I see that the butt has been stretched way out and I look like I'm carrying a full load back there! So is my butt really that wide when I sit down? Is that what that means? I probably really don't wanna know the answer to that one...

So I saw Avril Lavigne the other day on TV and I realized that she has a very strong resemblance to a dude I had a quasi-relationship with years ago. And it made me laugh at how much she looked like him. They even have the same hair. And that's the end of that little story. I could have left that out. But I typed it so it's staying. I don't like wasted effort...

So I saw something on Sci-Fi that I am waaay more excited about than I should even admit. Apparently they have made a new Pumpkinhead movie! A NEW PUMPKINHEAD MOVIE!!! And yes I will watch it. And yes I may even DVR it so I can watch it over and over and over again. And yes I'm sure that many of you probably don't even know who Pumkinhead is. "Most of his enemies are already dead." "Don't mess with Pumpkinhead unless you're tired of livin'." I could go on...but I won't do that to you.

So...I'm livin' in the 6th smartest state in the country? The state with the senator that called a dude "macaca" then claimed to not know what it meant?!?!? The state in which I live where kids didn't know that a buzzard was indeed a buzzard but instead called it a chicken then decided it was a turkey - a turkey that can kill you. The state in which I live where I met someone who asked me where I was from, I answer West Virginia, then they replied "I've never been to Kentucky." The state in which I live where people refuse to pronounce my name the proper way. We are the 6th smartest state? I feel very sad for the rest of the country...

We Can Live Like Jack And Sally

When I left my house this morning I thought I'd stepped directly into a Sherlock Holmes movie. The fog was thick and damp and spooky. I expected to see Jack the Ripper jump out at me! Except I'm not a prostitute so maybe that's why that didn't happen...didn't think about that.

I think I have a cry living in my head and that is what has been causing my headaches. A trapped cry. Part of it leaked out yesterday...that was what tipped me off that it's there. I was reading a story that someone sent me. A nice story. A happy story. A story that made me happy. I said as much. But for some reason as soon as I hit send...a cry started a slow leak out of my head. It was weird. I don't know what sparked it. I don't know what put it in there. I'm not upset about anything in particular. It's probably just a bunch of little things that got together and formed a group in my head. Hurt feelings. Stress. My usual self doubt. Voicing my fears. Living with the results of giving voice to my fears. I'm sure they have all met, shook each other's hands and are all up in there tickling the cry part of my brain...they want me to do it. They want me to set it free. And I will...when the opportunity presents itself.

Since I was in such a mood yesterday I went shopping. I really am learning a lot about myself. I had no idea that I was the type of girl that went shopping due to a bad mood. But there it is. I'm a friggin' girly girl aren't I? Dammit... Do you know what I went shopping for? Lip gloss! I don't even wear friggin' lip gloss! But I bought some. Oh yes I did. I decided that my lips had been blah for too long and we needed some color. So lip gloss had to be purchased. And I bought friggin' $15 lip gloss. And you know what? It doesn't even change the color of my damned lips!! Not in the slightest! But I have lip gloss. Oh yes I do...dammit.

We have now entered the time of year that I walk the dogs in my pjs. It's a magical time of year. It's my favorite time of year really. I can go home and put on my pjs and keep them on all evening! In the summer I have to put on real clothes since we go to the park...but not now! Not now that it's darkish already when we get home and then dark when we walk! Yay! PJS! Doesn't take much...

Last night, after I went on my joyous PJ Walk of Happiness with the dogs I was looking at some of the pictures on my computer that I'd taken through the months and I found the "before" pics that I took waaaaaay back in April when I was whining and moaning and complaining, the never ending complaining! that I need to lose weight and "oh woe is me I'm so fat" and all that oh so lovely stuff that I do. And you know what I discovered? I discovered that I've put on more weight since then than I realized! But I don't care. I'm still not fat. I'm jigglier than I need or want to be and all that girly stuff...but I'm not fat. But it was funny to me that I took that picture so I could track my weight loss progress and instead it's shown me how sluggy I've gotten instead. Naturally I still blame the Prednisone. Why not? It even made my crotch hungry*...
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*Wow...haven't done a footnote in a while... Anyway, yeah, I know...the individual post page is still screwed. I know this. You know this. But that's how lazy I've been. I haven't even taken the time to fix it. So...sorry. I'll get around to it. Maybe...

Things Are Different Today

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate to walk up to use the microwave and some dillhole didn't let the timer run out and instead of clearing it out they left the unused seconds just sitting there? Waiting...just waiting for someone to let them run themselves off the clock. Why? Why can they not clear the screen? Leave a nice, fresh, clear screen for the next person? I hate that. I absolutely hate it. I should not have to clear out seconds that do not belong to me.

I have lost the ability to eat Oreos without getting the Oreo dust all over my lips. I'm like a 3 year old. I should never eat them in public...but I do. Because I love them. And who cares if I have Oreo dust all over my lips, really? Should I? Should I care? Should this embarrass me? Other things embarrass me...but not this. Crap...I should probably care a little more that I'm running around with Oreos stuck on my face. I never get it right...

So this is my eye. Isn't it pretty? See? I can be nice to me. Even though I could point out the fine lines underneath it and tell you how I wish they looked this alert all day instead of looking like the sleepy eyes after I've been awake for a few hours and that I should really start plucking some of my eyebrows out, but that's not really about my eye is it? That's my 'brows. So...yeah...back to me being nice. Look at my eye. It's one of the few things that I really do like about myself. It has squiggles of burnt sienna in there and green and some yellow that didn't show in the picture but it does when you're face to face and gazing into my eyes. And look - I have freckles on my eyelid and under my eye. And freckles everywhere! Hurray for freckles!!! Anyway, I didn't just randomly decide to show you my eye, no - this is my latest 365 Days Photo! And now you know.

Speaking of my eyes...my left eye is twitching and it's gonna drive me nuts all day. And I can already tell that I'll end up with another killer headache like I did yesterday. And now you know that too.

Sometimes I just do not feel clean. Like I think I look really dirty. And I'm not. I take a shower everyday. And I don't just stand there...I wash! I get all soapy and I rub and I use things that are designed to clean human skin and I rinse and I repeat. But then during the day I look at my arms and I'm overcome with the feeling that I don't look as fresh and clean as everyone else around me. I don't know what that's all about...

I look nice today. My hubby said so. That's a nice way to start the day. And I'm gonna close on that. A postive note!

Thinkin' Late Thoughts

On my way home from work yesterday I was trying to find something to listen to on the radio, so I pushed the little preset button that takes me to the "alternative rock" station. In the afternoons they have a little "talk show" featuring two of their "cool" DJs. So when I heard them talking about Prince and their favorite Prince songs and how cool Prince is and having listeners call in to talk all about their favorite Prince songs...well I got a little bit freaked out. Well, first I was just enjoying it. Yay! Prince! But then...when they didn't give me a recap as to why they were talking about Prince the freak out began. It just seemed so random. Why are the DJs on the "alternative rock" station talking so much about Prince? Did he die? Oh gawd...he died didn't he?!?!? When I got home I asked my husband, who could really give a shit about Prince, "Did something happen to Prince today?" and he's like "Why?" and I told him and it was sorta like this:

Becauseohmygawdtheyweretalkingabouthimonthemikeandbobshow
anditwasjustsorandomandidont'knowwhytheyweretalkingabouthim
andifhe'sdeadisweari'mgonnabesoupseti'mnotevenkiddingnotevena littlebitohmygawd!!!

I even think some tears popped up into my silly eyes. I immediately got on the Internet and looked for news stories about Prince and I found nothing! NOTHING! So...I guess they were really just randomly talking about Prince for some other reason that I still don't know about and everything is fine and good and I can go back to normal....whew.

So remember a few weeks or so ago when I said I'd bought some sorta sexish panties? Well...they are the most annoying panties that I've ever had on. Evah. They are designed to be invisible under clothes, no more panty lines. And they work. That part...super cool. But I guess part of the design to be invisible includes not having any elastic in them. So...slowly during the day they start sliding down my ass and wind up sorta just wrapped around my upper leg area not really providing any coverage in the slightest...and it's irritating as hell. Try walking around with your panties rolled down that way...you'll see! The upside to all this? "Wow..those look cool!" Yeah baby! I look coool in my sexy panties! I'm hawt!!! Woo!

So other than my hawt panties and my freak out over whether or not Prince was dead I've got nothing for ya. Nada. I walked the dogs. I watched Transamerica. I ate Mexican food. The end.

You Told Them All I Was Crazy

Hurray! I loved all of your fill in the blank answers! Loved them, loved them, loved them. You guys are great. I want to hug you all. Twice!

I do find it interesting that you guys had the opportunity to ask me anything you wanted to and you let it pass right on by. Very interesting indeed. I've decided that means that you like the mystery of Itchy. That I'm wrapped in fog. I'm like a riddle. It in no way means that I'm an open book and you already feel like you know everything about me. Nope. That's not what it means at all. I'm mysterious and you guys dig that and we'll leave it at that! The Dark and Mysterious Itchy has spoken.....

My fall foliage festival family fun time was actually pretty darn great. Really! The festival really wasn't what I expected at all. For some reason I expected we'd be in a field, surrounded by pumpkin patches and colorful fall trees. Not roped off city streets. I had to walk up hills! I had to walk down hills! I didn't see any pumpkin patches and there weren't any rolling hills of fall colored trees around me. But it was nice anyway. Lots of cool displays. Lots of not so cool stuff, unless you are into the cutsey country decor. I am not...

However, there were some fairly cool jewlery artists. I bought this ring. I love it. I'm wearing it right now. A spoon! Who looks at a spoon and thinks "gee, I'm gonna make some jewelry outta this." I'm glad he did...he had some really, really pretty stuff. His booth seemed to be the most popular one of the day. I almost didn't even go look at it based on how many people were around, I just didn't want to have to deal with it. And some of the people were being straight up bitches...but I pushed through and viola! new ring. Yay!

On the road to my sister's is a mountain. You go up this hill and at the top it curves to the right. I like to be in the left hand lane and drive up the hill really, really fast because when you are in that lane and you get to the top it looks like the road just falls away but then whoosh - you curve to the right. It's my favorite part of the entire drive.

When I called my husband Friday night to say goodnight (yes, yes...how sweet....gross!) he informed me that he had a surprise for me when I got home. No hints. No ideas. I love it when he does this. What could it possibly be? A surprise! For me! Well, it turned out that he painted on of the bathrooms for me! He did it all. I didn't have to do a thing. Isn't that great?!?!?

Now, there is one thing that I'd like to point out in regards to some of the fill in the blank words you folks chose. It seems that you have listened to me talk about how shy I am and chosen to ignore this. Some people are under the impression that if we get together it would be an immediate laughathon. Now, while I do want to meet you all - honest! I can assure you...I am shy. I am not exaggerating. I am not instantly going to just open my mouth and say lots of words. And if I do...they will probably not be that funny. Or interesting. Or even make a lot of sense. Unless you get me drunk...which is easy to do. I'm a light weight. And I drink wine coolers. My secret's out...I drink wine coolers. Sorry. I know it's disturbing...it sorta disturbs me too.

As Long As We Can Live In Harmony

OK. This has been a blah week dudes. So very blah. The most exciting thing that happened in the Magical World of Itchy is that we upgraded our cable to digital. I have a DVR on all of my TVs (we have three...yes two people need three TVs) and I made up a song about the fact that I have TiVo in my bedroom. It goes something like this:

I have TiVo in my bedroom!
I have TiVo in my bedroom!
I have all the channels they're all dig-i-tal!
I have TiVo in my bedroom!

Awesome...I know. I'm like the next female singer songwriter over here and you can say you knew me when. How awesome for you!

Anyway, I'm leaving for my fun fall festival family time and I will have a good time. No more angsty Itchy. Just...fun road trip Itchy. But I don't really have anything to say today and just in case the weekend gives me nothing I've decided to steal some ideas that I've seen.

This first one I straight up thieved from Mikey. All you gotta do is fill in the blanks. And like Mikey said "...be honest. I can take it. Really." (even though we all know I'm a sensitive soul...)

I ____ Itchy.
Itchy is ____.
Itchy thinks a lot about _______.
When I think of _________, I think of Itchy.
If I were alone in a room with Itchy, I would _______.
I think Itchy should _____.
Itchy needs ______.
I want to ____________ Itchy.
If I could describe Itchy in a word: _______.

The other thing? Well, the other thing may help me with topics to talk about since my life is currently revolving around the awesomeness of digital cable. (sidenote: I'm avoiding talking about the new plasma HD TV we purchased since we are oh so responsible and totally needed a plasma HD TV but holy shit you guys...the Discovery Channel in high def?!?! Totally superly worth it. Totally...) *ahem* Anyway, ask me questions. Is there anything about me that you'd like to know that maybe you don't already. Do you have questions about things I've talked about here, like you want more details? Do you wanna know my shoe size? Do I have any interesting scars? What do I think of tatoos? Do I have any deep dark family secrets? What time do I get up in the morning? What's my take on corn dogs? Anything! This is called "Ask Itchy anything." (and I thieved this idea from Finy.) Naturally there are some questions that I may not answer. But I won't know what those questions are until I see 'em. So...have at it. That is your assignment for today while I drive to the weekend of super fantastic fall festival family fun. Woo!

I'm Of Consenting Age

So I finally joined the 365 Days Photo Group. This was my first day's picture. Not very inspired, but I chickened out on what I really wanted to do. I had this vision in my head that I would sneak and lock the door after my exam yesterday, jump back on the table, insert my feet in the stirrups and take a picture of that. But instead I sneakily took a picture of the stirrup, chickened out, and got the hell outta there! So this is the picture that I used for the first day:
I've got my second day's up there, too:
This one came about while I was thinking about how damn bad my memory has gotten. I mean...it is seriously bad. I cannot remember shit. I hate it. It makes me feel bad when I can't remember something that someone has told me. It makes me feel like a bad person. I want to have a better memory. I want the memory of a robot! Fully upgradeable at any time. Since I can't open my brain and install new memory, what's a girl to do?

I'm hoping that I will be able to stick with this idea for a full year. I want to be more creative. I want ideas to flow freely from my mind. But at the same time, I'm shy. I don't want my face all out in the open and stuff...but there comes a time in your life where you have to just take that jump. Learn to swim, as I've been told. So I'm in the shallow end...I'll make it to the deep end soon.

You Say Neato, Check Your Libido

I had an all day scrapapalooza on Saturday to go to so I actually set my alarm clock to wake me up. I don't usually hear the alarm so I have it set on the radio instead. When it went off and woke me up, it was playing Rooster by Alice in Chains. I found this to be hilarious. Think about it...

It turned out the the nor'easter was really just practicing on Friday because Saturday brought a rain like I've never seen. Luckily it stopped raining for me to make my way to the venue and get inside. But then? Whoooooosh! All the water of the world was dumped down upon us. It was an impressive display of rain. It made Ernesto look like a spring shower. But then, when it was time for me to leave to go home...no rain. It was a perfect, perfect day.

Well...yeah. I had a great time. For real. I finally finished my June road trip album and got back to work on the daily life of Itchy album. But...the food. That is allegedly a cheeseburger. It didn't look like burger. And it didn't taste like burger. But it didn't kill me. And for that I am a happy girl.

Here is the point where most of you that haven't realized this yet see that I am a shallow, shallow girl. I don't want to be. But I blame the insecurity. I'm not mean, I'm not catty...I'm just insecure. But you will never hear me complain about being fat again. I am in no shape or form fat. There may be some people out there that would look at me and say "oh yes you are" and I call those people media zombies - I'm not a stick. I have curves. I have some padding on my hips. But I am not fat. I look pretty good. I don't look my best...but I look a hell of a lot better when I feel good about myself. I stand up taller. I am friendly to people that I've not met before. I act like...myself. And it works! I talked more than I have in a long time in public on Saturday. I smiled. I laughed. I made witty remarks. I was complimented on my hair and I just really, really felt really good about who I am. And I could literally see the difference. I'm gonna try to keep that going. There is no reason in the world for me to walk around with my head hanging down. And now you know...

So, for as long as we've had the BeagleGirl and the GoldenBoy they have not had full run of the house. Even when we are home. But we've realized that that's just silly. So over the weekend we enacted the "Open House Policy." No more baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. If I come up here to be on the computer, the dogs can too. If they want to go back downstairs and lay on the couch, they can. And I am loving it. Our previous dog, PoundPuppy, had full run of the house. And he'd hang out with me wherever I went. I forgot how much I loved that. To just look over and see a dog laying by my side. Sitting at my feet. Doing some dog thing. I love it. This is a very good thing...

I Was Young And Foolish

I realized that it's been a while since I did my say nice things to myself about myself so I thought I would tell you about my feet. I hope I haven't talked about my feet before. I'd hate to think that I'm some weirdo that's in love with her own feet...but...I do like my feet an awful lot. My toes perfectly stair step down in size. They are straight and not too long and not too short. They don't appear to be bent in weird positions either. And...I can pick stuff up with my toes. So when I see pictures of other people's feet I appreciate mine more and more. So there...I like my feets. As far as feet go, I lucked up. I got the cute feet.

So we are enjoying a nice nice nor'easter today. By the sounds of things on the roof I would guess that it is now officially raining its ass off. The wind is allegedly going to pick up around noon. Lovely. Nothing like a lovely storm for a lovely Friday. To fuck up the weekend. Whatever. It's not like I had big plans. Nothing that rain will change anyway...

I'm going to start smoking pot again. That's all I have on that...

Because I Get Stoopid, I Mean Outrageous

I was standing in my kitchen one day thinking about some of our kitchen appliances, 'cause I'm just deep thought doing that way, and I realized something that is hy-larious to me. We have a Mr. Coffee Iced Tea Maker. We have a Mr. Coffee CocoaMotion. We have a no-name coffee maker. See? Funny...

My allergies are killing me. It must just be that time of year. All week I've been worn down, tired, and by the end of the day my head is killing me. Except for Tuesday. Tuesday I used the Afrin before using my regular allergy spray. Wow...just...wow. Breathing. Freely. In and out. Whooosh, oxygen into my nasal passages and through my body. I felt better. I think I looked better. But now I'm worried. If I'm not breathing as well as I need to to the point that I actually have headaches, am I doing damage to my brain? Like...am I gonna get stupider? Is that possible? That I can create a loss of brain ability with this? I feel stupider... Great.

I heard my parents having sex one time. I've not been able to erase that memory from my brain. I would like to...

I need to find a new picture to use for my profile picture. For some reason, this template decided that my profile picture should be HUGE...so I took the other one off. I figured it would just show an empty area...but no, it shows a small red X like a picture should be there. So I need to either find a new picture or tinker with the template. Yeah...so I tinkered with the template and now there should not be a picture or a red x or anything like that. You guys have no idea how crazy this thing made me and its still not 100% right. So...who knows how long it will be here if I can't figure it all out. Feh...

I've Never Asked For More Than I Deserve

So...I've wasted spent most of the day working on this new template... I found the template here. I really liked it, but it will take some getting used to for me. I like having the sidebar to the left but now it's on the right. But, change is good - right? Sure it is. I just knew that I had to have the poison ivy as my title graphic. I had to. I am Itchy, ya know. I did have an oozy disgusting rash this summer due to some type of plant. Asshole plants.

Anyway, ta daaaaa! If you notice that anything looks or acts wonky please let me know. I hate that...

That They're Gonna Throw It Back To You

Sometimes when I'm out and about and I can see the moon in the not quite dusky sky, I'm suddenly reminded that I'm on a planet. And that we're not the only planet. And then I start thinking about space and what's out there and I smile. A really, big, goofy smile. The solar system makes me happy. That was my favorite part of my 5th grade science class, well that and the dinosaurs. But I really, really loved learning about the solar system. I signed up for some program with NASA and I used to get these really cool pictures with information on the back about all the different planets. Pictures of the moon. Pictures of Earth from space. All of it! And I loved it. Then one day I became a teenager. And some teenagers go through that spell where they think they are too cool for certain things. So I threw all of my cool NASA mail away. And I've regretted that for quite a while.

I have new car fever. Somebody needs to talk me down from this. I get new car fever every few years, but this time it's actually been about six years since I've had a brand new car. But I really, really want one right now. I don't even have any particular vehicle in mind...just...one that is brand spankin' new. With new car smell in tact. Mmmmmm....new car smell. I don't need a new car. But I sure do want one.

I've become a high maintenance person. I've never been a high maintenance person. I used to be perfectly fine to buy my shampoo at Target or some store such as that but now...oh no. That just will not do. My hair isn't even that nice...but here I am buying expensive shampoo. And now I color my hair. All of a sudden I've turned into that girl that colors her hair. For YEARS I claimed I would NEVER color my hair. Now? Yup...hair is colored. I've had to go in to have my roots done. And that cost just as much as having all of it done. So now I'm sitting here questioning whether or not I'm worth all this money. Do I really need expensive shampoo? Do I really need to have my hair colored? It's not like I go out and splurge and pamper myself in any other way. I don't do the manicures or pedicures, and I never would. That does not appeal to me. Even though I can look at my poor nails and feet and see that they need some love - I don't wanna. And I don't buy a lot of expensive perfume, or makeup, or clothes even. So...I guess I can justify spending so much on my hair. Right?

Now for the Wife Swap review. Oh that's right...I didn't watch the Wife Swap last night. And I lived. My world did not come crashing down around me and I didn't even miss it. Sure I was watching "The Empire Strikes Back" and that may have helped me. I mean...who doesn't love a stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerfherder? I'd much rather look at Han Solo than some crazy Wife Swap family any day! And...you know what I just learned about last week? Wookieepedia!! All the information about Star Wars that you could ever want. I haven't delved too deeply into it because I haven't had an entire day to waste yet, but I will....oh yes, I will...

Do You Like Me Or Are You Ignoring Me

I saw this guy as I was leaving for work this morning and I just had to take his picture. He looked so sad. Just...hanging on for dear life. I know how he feels sometimes.

It's been a long time since I've cried at or about work and I'll be damned if I'm about to do it now. But...I don't understand it. I'm a nice person. I like to help. Why do people behave the way they do toward me? When it first happened I was OK with it, I didn't think any harm was meant. But now I've had time to think. Time to process. Time to let my mind go wild with the details. And now I'm not so sure... I don't fuck with people. I'm shy and I keep to myself. So why? Why the passive aggressive bullshit? I don't get it.

I totally forgot to gloat on Friday that after my monthly bitch fest bloating disappeared, I jumped on the scale and I somehow managed to weigh less than I had the Friday before. Even though on Thursday it looked as if I'd gained. That's some impressive bloating right there my friends...very impressive indeed. So...the weight loss continues.

I have touched on this subject before but I'm touching it again. I hate it when someone says "oh it's just the two of you" like that's something bad. It's not "just" the two of us. It's the two of us. We are a family. We're not a "just." It's not something for you to wrinkle your nose up at. It's nothing for you to give the impression that you do not approve of. Besides...we have two dogs. It's just the four of us...